Howard Stern Show 1996 Complete Archive

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Richard Lewis Last Appearance? 1-31-96. Richard Lewis called and told Howard that he was tired of the abuse. Of course while Richard was talking Howard muted his own voice and talked over Richard. He'd tell Robin how he could piss off Richard really easily...and of course he could. Richard was rambling about his E! show appearance and Howard had no idea what Richard was talking about. I'm sure as soon as Richard has something to plug he'll call back...we'll see.

Pay Per View Promoter dead. 1-31-96. Dan Duva, the man that promoted Howards Pay Per View special, died earlier this week from cancer. Howard did a touching speech this morning about this guy and what a great guy he was for taking Howards New Years Eve Pay Per View special and putting it on.

Allan Thicke comes in. 1-30-96. Allan Thicke, the father on Growing Pains now on Hope and Gloria Saturday night at 9:00, came in this morning to talk about his great sex life. Allan has nailed Teri Hatcher plus some other young women. His current wife is only 26 years old and a former 'Miss World'. Allan says that he never nailed Joanna Kearns, the mom on Growing Pains, although it sounded like they thought about it. At the end of the visit, Howard was just about begging to have Allan come in every day to tell us about his exciting life.

Sam Kinison Calls? 1-30-96. A Sam Kinison impersonator called in a couple of times this morning. This guy sounds sooo much like Sam, it's scary. I can't remember the comedian's name that does the impersonation but he has called in before. He cursed a few times while on the phone so half of the conversation got bleeped.

Ozzy Osborne visits. 1-29-96. Ozzy came in for a visit this morning and was amazingly sober! Although he started off sounding drunk out of his mind. The guy was actually very funny to listen to. I've heard him interviewed on other radio stations in NY and was bored. But not today! Howard just let Ozzy tell his f'd up stories about his drug days and his visit to the Betty Ford Clinic. Ozzy's wife's idea was to send him to Betty Ford to teach him how to drink like a gentleman. Ozzy walked in to Betty Ford and said '..direct me to the cocktail bar...' while his pockets were full of coke and ludes. Ozzy let us know that he's not smoking and he's only using legal drugs now...Prozacto be exact. He says that he's 'Psycho' without the prozac...hmmm...seemed like he was pretty 'Psycho' WITH the prozac! Ozzy also let us know that his married life is just like everyone else's...a nightmare. Howard played a couple of short snippets of Ozzy's current album and kissed his ass about how great it is(as usual).

David Lee Roth, Not a Leach! 1-26-96. Howard talked about his private phone call from David Lee Roth...the guy that used to sing for Van Halen in the good ol' days...Everyone on the show thought that David was calling to ask Howard for a favor or something. Everyone was wrong, even Howard!. Dave heard Howard talking about his diet and how hard it was to lose weight so when Dave called Howard privately, all he wanted to do was give Howard some dieting advice. It turns out that Dave's sister or cousin is a nutritionist and has kept Dave in shape with her dieting knowledge. Dave just wanted to pass it along to his buddy Howard. Earlier in the week Howard had been talking about 'private calls' from celebrities that turned out to be calls from hell. Most celebs call to ask a favor, but not good old David Lee Roth!

Gabrielle Reese visits. 1-24-96. The name may not be familiar but if you watch MTV at all, you've probably seen her doing a sports show. She's a professional volleyball player, 6'3'', 175 pounds of woman. Howard had read that Gabby's father had died when she was young and that the one thing that she had to remind her of him was a necklace with a cross on it. She had the cross tattooed on her ankle. Howard had Ralph(dick boy) make up a fake tattoo so that he could pretend that his dad had died just like Gabby's. She fell for it! At the end of the interview, Howard asked Gabby if she wanted to play Twister, she agreed. Sounded like Howard was enjoying himself VERY much. She's got a show of her own now, The Extremists, that's on a station near you(at some odd time of day). Check it out if you get a chance.

Robin's Rodman Date. 1-23-96. Well there's not any juicy stuff from Robin's side of the story. Dennis picked up Robin in a limo, they went out to dinner(Robin had Red Snapper and Dennis had Pasta) then they went to a bar and hung out for a while. After the date, Robin got a kiss on the cheek and that was that...boring date.

GUNMAN GETS IN TO STUDIO!? 1-22-96. This morning a man that won the Bookmobile, 1 hour in the studio, contest, entered the studio. Howard immediately noticed that the guy was carrying a GUN! Howard yelled to Gary '...THIS GUY'S GOT A GUN ON HIM...' Da Da Dummy didn't even notice that the guy had a large bulge on his side! Some security! Luckily, the guy turned out to be a Lieutenant of the Hoboken, NJ police department. Turn's out the guy was carrying the Glock 17 legally and didn't want to blow Howards head off. The guy brought in 3 gold PBA cards...3...who gets the 3? Howard, Robin and FRED! Jackie didn't get one. The guy said he only had 3 to give and he had to make up his mind the night before...'...hmmm Howard gets one Robin will get one and Jack...no way! F--- JACKIE! I'll give it to Fred!...'

Robin & Dennis Rodman...The Date! 1-19-96. Robin will be going on a date with the Rod Man next Monday night. I think that she'll have a hell of a story for us on Tuesday morning...stay tuned!!!

Jackie The Landlord Martling? 1-18-96. Yes, it's true! Jackie The Jokeman is also a landlord. While doing a commercial for Tops Appliance City Jackie said that he'd bought 2 washing machines and a couple of other things. Howard of course asked '..why'd you buy two Jackie..?' Jackie told Howard that he bought one for himself and one for his Tennant. Of course, everyone was surprised to hear that Jackie The Jokeman is also a friggin landlord...go figure!

Howard's $5,000 masturbation machine... 1-16-96. One of Howard's birthday presents was a $5,000 masturbation machine called Venus 2. It was given to him by a sponsor. Howard tried it out on his finger this morning to see if it was safe to use on his wiener. While the thing was wacking off his finger it went wacko and popped off! Howard thought it might not be such a great idea to use it on his weenie so he had one of the E! crew give it a try...on the air! 'Gump', as he's called, gave it a whirl while on the jock lounge phone with Howard. He seemed to be enjoying it when Howard asked Robin to go in to the room just to make sure that the guy was actually using the thing. She popped her head in and he WAS using the thing. 'Gump' stopped after Howard hung up the phone because he felt 'odd' about using it. He gave it an 8 rating out of 10 for pleasure. He said it wasn't like the real thing but it was pretty darn good. What is this world cumming to!?

Howard's Big Birthday Show! 1-12-96. Howard's annual big birthday bash was held today at the Trump Plaza Hotel in NYC. A long list of celebrities either showed up in person or made phone calls in to the show. I think the biggest surprise of the morning was Jason Alexander, George, from Seinfeld showing up on the show. Howie and Jason talked about Jerry Seinfeld's very young girlfriend for a while. Jay Leno called in and Howard got permission from Jay to play the raw, unedited tape from Howards appearance on the Tonight Show. Jay kept denying that there was any 'raw' tape from the show but Howard says he's got it and he'll be playing it on his E! Entertainment TV show sometime soon, I hope. Other guests that showed up or called in were: Peter Weller(RoboCop) What a bore!, Governor Patacki, David Letterman called in, Governor Whitman, Joe Piscapo(Who?) and his girlfriend Kimberly, and The Spin Doctors did their song 'Miss America'. This years 'House Band' was Blues Traveler. I'm not much of a fan of theirs but they really did sound great when they did 'Run Around' early this morning!

If you want to read more about the b'day show, I'm sure that the Interactive King Of All Media Newsletter will have a big write up on it. Swing on over there if you get a chance.

TIMMY IS DEAD!!! 1-11-96. Jackie's retarded cat is dead! According to a friend of Jackie's, the cat was 'half-dead' lying in the road when this friend decided to pick up the cat and put it in the woods! Jackie went searching for the cat in the area that the friend said he put it but the dead retard couldn't be found...maybe this friend is lying! Maybe Timmy the 'tard is still alive and enjoying a new home.

Robin acting? 1-10-96. Robin announced today that she'll be in an upcoming TV movie starring Ed Marinaro, some guy that was on Hill Street Blues. She said that they're making special arrangements to film on Saturdays so that she won't have to miss any radio air time. Stay tuned for more info!

Dice coming back to the show!? After his show was canceled recently, Andrew 'Dice' Clay had a change of heart and called his old pal Howard. Howard was by the phone and listened to the answering machine as Andrew said '...pick up Howard, I know you're there...' Howard was sick at the time so he wasn't in the mood to talk. Howard said that he'll return the call sometime soon. Should Dice be allowed back on the show after blowing off Howard's show while his CBS show was on the air or should Howard blow off Dice until he gives up his radio show?

K-ROCK CHANGES FORMAT!!! 1-5-96. Howard's mother station, 92.3 K-Rock, has changed its format from Classic Rock to 'Modern Rock'. Howard started off the day talking to the last of the classic rock DJ's, 'Mad' Max Kinkel (spelling?), about the new format. Apparently, all of the DJ's are gone for 10 days. After that they'll be ...well they'll probably be canned.

After Howard's regular show, Howard stayed on to do some DJ-ing himself. With his own CD's in hand, he was spinning CD's until about 1:30 this afternoon.

Stuttering John is getting MARRIED!? This fool has gone and knocked up his girlfriend...of course now he has proposed to the pregnant one. The baby is due in June. How scary is that? Stuttering John, a father!

AND OTHERS!

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